“Washing Powder Pressed Into Green Lego Pills”: People Share Their Worst Experiences Buying Drugs at a Festival
If in doubt, get the test kit out.
Written by Simon Doherty
Many years ago, I was strolling around a festival with a friend on a blazing hot day. It was the kind of heat that felt like it could melt train tracks. The sun was setting, dying the sky a fiery orange, and we were in the market for drugs.
We made fleeting enquiries with random people we ended up chatting to, as you do. But it wasn’t long before someone appeared, like the genie emerging from a bottle in Aladdin. Wearing black shorts, Nike 110 trainers, and a manbag strapped across his bare chest, he announced that he was selling MDMA crystals.
“It’s got to pass a test,” my friend explained to him, producing an EZ Test kit from his pocket. “Nah, I haven’t got time for that shit, man,” the dealer boomed back, before strutting off like he was doing an impression of Liam Gallagher. It wasn’t long before he’d faded away into the riot of colour that made up the festival.
That’s suspicious to say the least, right? I’m confident he was selling some bullshit––hay fever tablets that he crushed up in the back of his mate’s car on the way, or some shit like that. After all, why not adhere to the testing if you’re confident that you’re providing a quality product? Dealers that are not happy with testing are not worth buying from.
Anyway, fuck him because he was soon replaced with a new dealer. This guy had a much better vibe. He was more than happy for the test and was curious about the process. So I took my house key out of my pocket, plunged it into the baggie, removed a miniscule amount of the powder (about the size of the head of a sewing pin) and tipped it into the vial. Within a millisecond, it had fizzled and morphed into a deep purple. This was the real deal. Cash was promptly handed over and after pleasantries were exchanged we all went about our day.
Don’t get me wrong here, reader: Festivals are often 99.9% totally sound people––great people, great music, great times. But you do get the tiny minority, the grubby opportunists I like to call them, who take the chance to sell bogus or fake drugs. Luckily, if you carry EZ Test kits you can thwart these people. If in doubt, get the test kit out.
I asked people to share their worst experiences of buying drugs at festivals (the responses have been lightly edited for brevity and clarity).
Last Man Standing (At 9PM)
My friends thought they were buying MDMA, but it was Xanax. They were all passed out by 9PM. I was the only one left standing, ‘cause I didn’t take any.
“This is Not Normal”
I thought I was buying ecstasy and ended up getting 2C-B. At the time I didn’t even know what 2C-B was. One hour passed and the high was feeling super odd. At the beginning it was normal, but then it started getting super intense and visual. It was dark and hard techno was on. I started thinking, ‘Oh my God, this is not normal.’ I was seeing things and hearing things and it was not stopping. Then I asked some friends and they told me that it was probably 2C-B. I’m not a psychedelic kind of person so I freaked out a little bit. My high ended up lasting for twelve hours or so, but in the end it was fun.
Caught Red-Handed
I bought what should have been hash but it turned out to be a block of henna (the natural red hair dye). Not only did it cost £20 but it stained our hands red. We skinned up [rolled a joint] at night in the dark and our tent ended up looking like a crime scene. On the upside, the lads in the tent next to us got raided by the police and we got to use the line, "Caught red-handed.” Every cloud has a silver lining.
The Old Switch-a-Roo
I was sold 1.5g of ‘coke’. It had some numbing effect which initially led me to believe it was real. But I quickly realised that it wasn’t what I had purchased. There was absolutely no stimulant effect and it had pretty much no taste either, which led me to believe it must be something like lidocaine [a medicine, not a recreational drug]. I figured this way people who asked to ‘try before they buy’ might be led to believe it was the real deal. It seemed very odd the lengths the guy was willing to go to.
“Given God Knows What”
We were all beginners with drugs and we bought inside [the festival]. We asked for MDMA, and we were given God knows what. Four of us could not walk anymore and went into a state of paralysis. I had the worst experience: Other than not being able to stand, I also vomited for hours.
We never found out what that was, but an article came out a few days after stating that dozens of people had the same issue and someone was hospitalised. So fucking dangerous. Make them [drugs] legal I say and make us pay taxes for it.
Salty Customer
I thought I was buying ket but I ended up getting salt.
Washing Powder Pressed Into Pills
I bought green pressed Lego pills at a festival in New Zealand. We had it tested at the festival and it was 100% washing powder.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: New Zealand allows front-of-house drug testing after passing the Drug and Substance Checking Legislation Act in 2021, meaning that the punters can submit their drugs for lab testing on the festival site.
“Thank God She Said No”
My friend tried to buy packet [coke] after losing her [previous] bag. She went off to restock herself and met an older man, who sold her a white powder he promised was cocaine. After selling it to her, he asked if they could do a line of it together in his tent before she went off. Thank God she said “no”.
She was continuously falling off the face of the Earth; her muscles were twitching, she was falling over, and having to be led around. By the end of the festival someone else tried a small bump from her bag and instead of the typical gear [coke] sensation, the muscles in his hand started convulsing and he went very weird.
I’m just thankful she didn’t agree to that man as the drug basically paralysed her, a clear rape tactic.
Firelighter
I bought a gram of “k” off some random bloke, it turned out to be a crushed firelighter.
“Weekend Ruined”
I thought I was buying LSD, but it turned out it was NBOMe. My friend didn’t realise until they had the most anxious, horrible, synthetic trip. It ruined the whole weekend.
Lavender Bath Salts
Me and my boyfriend ran out of drugs and were approached by a man wanting to sell us MDMA. We bought it via bank transfer and went back to our tent to take it. When we opened the bag we got a whiff of lavender and were obviously confused. Upon further inspection we realised we had been sold lavender bath salts instead. Luckily neither of us had tried to ingest it, but when we saw him later and approached him about this he threatened to stab us.
Ketty Coke
I was sold ‘coke’ at a festival I DJ’d at in 2024. It wasn’t coke at all. It was ketamine, which obviously had the complete opposite effect of what I wanted. Thank God I waited until after my set to get on it.
“We Thought We’d Have to Go to the Medical Tent”
We’d had a garry [ecstasy pill] each and wanted another, so we ended up buying off a lad in there thinking it was MD[MA]. After taking it we all started tripping; scary and dark hallucinations. We were all dripping with sweat and all thought we were gonna have to go to the medical tent ‘cos of how fast our hearts were going. It was a little rocket-shaped pill that you'd expect to be 2C-B but this was nothing like a usual 2C-B experience.
“Sent Me West”
I bought two pingers [ecstasy pills] that turned out to be complete duds, no effect. That was a waste of £20. Then we bought two Optimus Prime pingers, at least that’s what he [the dealer] said they were. I’ve got no idea what they really were but me and my friend were tripping absolute balls on them; watching shadow figures moving throughout the crowd, which sent my head completely west.
And the Dickhead Award Goes To…
Someone offered to sell my mate a pill. He declined, because we had a dealer as a mate and he brought an excessive amount with him anyway. The guy who offered the pill then said my mate could get it for free if he took the full thing at once (it was about 2PM in the afternoon) as a type of promotion. About 200mg of MDMA. Around 45 mins later, my mate was full on pinging and went to look for the guy, showing him that, you know, the pills work. He got offered the same deal again and took it. I’m glad it didn’t end up worse than that.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: That’s pissed me off, that. It’s everyone's duty to call out dickheads like this dealer. Taking a full pill at the moment is very dangerous as they contain such a high level of MDMA. One modern-day pill is multiple doses.
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